How Can Being Slut Shamed Online Affect Someone’s Life Offline?

When someone sends you a nasty or hurtful comment online – people might tell you to turn off your computer or social media and let it go. But even when if you delete, block, or go offline, what happens online doesn’t stop just because you aren’t there to see it.

Depression, anxiety, and low self esteem are just some of the things that can result from being bullied online or targeting for cyber sexual violence (CSV). Since the online world is so vast and unstoppable, some girls and young women feel trapped or hopeless to make it stop, and devastatingly, some even take their lives because of this pain.

What happens online doesn’t stay online.

A hurtful comment, spreading, sexual rumours or spreading nudes, are all things that hurt just the same as they would in real life, and the impacts are just as painful. If you are being targeted for CSV and have no where to turn, know first that you are not alone. We at Webbing With Wisdom get it, and we are rooting for you and your safety online.

You’re not deserving of this painful experience.

We know navigating the online world can get really ugly for girls and young women. Always remember:

• It doesn’t matter if you were drunk, this is not your fault
• It doesn’t matter if you sent a nude, no one had the right to spread it
• Your picture isn’t a place for someone to make comments about your sexuality
• Your body is not a place for someone to share their opinions on

Your feelings are real, and we believe you.

If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please talk to someone you trust. Your life is important, your existence means something. If you’d like someone to talk to anonymously, click “Get Help” on the top right hand corner of this page to find some resources.

I think I may have harmed someone online, what do I do?

The impact of some acts you make could change a person’s life forever.

If you’ve harmed someone online, and are feeling shameful or guilty about it, there is room to improve.

1. Take responsibility: it is not easy to admit you have done something wrong, but sometimes the right things to do are also the hardest.  
2. If there is still room to, apologize. This one is tricky because your apology might not be accepted or received, and, well, you have to be okay with that. The person harmed may need to move on with their own healing, and their process may be distinct from your own need to acknowledge and work through yours.
3. Work to Improve Yourself and Be Empathetic: whether or not your apology is accepted, it doesn’t end there. Sometimes we have go to take the burn and move with it. Learn from this experience, read about how to improve. Change is a difficult journey, but if you really care to improve sometimes you’ve go to take the burn and go with it.

Humility is part of learning. Everyone makes mistakes, but what is important is to move forward and prevent ourselves from making them happen again. Together, people can prevent the deadly impact of CSV.