Just because you’ve talked someone up for a while online, doesn’t mean you know them.
Our intuition is one of the most valuable tools we can use to keep safe – so listen to yours. If something someone does or says online feels off, doesn’t make sense or is outright messed up – don’t ignore it.
In the meantime, here are some red flags that might be helpful in naming something that just “doesn’t feel right”.
What are red flags?
Red flags are warning signs. They’re signs that might make you feel uncomfortable, confused or might even remind you of a past experience when someone’s behaviour was shitty.
Here’s some red flags to look out for when online dating:
- You google someone and you can’t find any information on them
- Someone likes your profile pic and comments on your body saying something like “you look nice, fine, sexy’ without knowing anything about you
- The person is coming on strong and says “I love you” early on
- They ask sexually personal or inappropriate questions like “where do you live” or “are you a virgin” before really knowing each other
- They say stuff that creeps you out
- They try to find out from your friends how many people you’ve had sex with
- They message you several times a day on all social media networks like Facebook, Twitter, Instragram, Snapchat, Tumblr, etc.
- They want to be included in everything in your life – “why are you doing that without me?”
- They agree with you on everything and say things like “I like that too”
- They post shit about you especially after you tell them no!
- They’re talking shit or gossiping about someone else to you or
- They want to meet your friends or family in a very short period of time
When you see these signs RUN! These signs could be a warning of how the relationship might go. If someone’s trying to control you from the get go, see our human trafficking section for more warning signs.
Meeting someone cool or being in love is great but it’s not a cure for everything. Feeling good about yourself, relationship or not, is important. You deserve the best.